Jock and Geordie Football Part II

Further to Eski Kanka's bit about Souness I thought I'd cut and paste this preamble from the Guardian's Minute by Minute report before the match between Souness's Blackburn Rovers and Genclerbirligi in 2003. The whole report can be found here

By the way Eski Kanka, will you stop capitalizing your headlines. It is considered shouting in the cyber world of the 21st century.

But here is the preamble:

With his track record at Galatasaray, Graeme Souness probably wouldn't be the FA's first choice as special envoy to Turkey ahead of next month's decisive Euro 2004 qualifier.

Celtic and Rangers? Newcastle and Sunderland? As footballing rivalries go, little compares to heated steam bath of an atmosphere which accompanies the Istanbul derby between Galatasaray and Fenerbahce. Consider, as an example, the 1996 Turkish Cup final - the first time the two had met in the final in more than 30 years - which ended in a full-scale riot. The reason? Graeme Souness.

I t was 1-1 on aggregate in the return leg at Fener with a penalty shootout looming. But then, after 206 minutes of football, Dean Saunders got on to the end of a hopeful cross from the left to larrup an unstoppable shot on the bounce into the roof of the net. Four minutes later, the final whistle went and Souness set off for the Galatasary end. He relieved a fan of an eight-foot high flag, like waving a red rag to Istanbul, he paraded it to the centre of the pitch and speared it erect in the centre-circle. It was a dagger in the heart of Fenerbahce fans and the ultimate incitement to riot. They duly obliged.

Souness, pelted with bottles of water, had to beat a hasty retreat as angry Fenerbahce fans tried to force the dressing-room door. The flag was quickly kicked over by supporters, and the cup presentation by President Suleyman Demirel could barely be seen for police riot shields held up to beat away fireworks and other missiles.

"We were all on the victory podium collecting our medals but after that we were being pelted with all sorts of things and we needed a police escort to get out," recalls then Gala goalkeeper Brad Friedel, flinching with the memory. "They are still selling T-shirts of that incident in Turkey."

"You can go f*** your mother with the cup," chanted the crowd. Truncheon-wielding police sent alsations in to the stands, armoured cars bulldozed angry fans who mobbed the ground's main entrance, the windows of both team coaches were smashed, three people were wounded in knife attacks and even President Demirel was assaulted.

"I think Souness thought he was making Turkey a colony of Britain and, if he'd done that in Scotland or England, I don't think the hooligans there would have let him out alive," said Fenerbahce president Ali Sen, shaking his fist angrily and bearing his teeth. "Flags should only be planted in Antarctica or on mountain summits!"

Souness feigned innocent bemusement. "Pah, it's a quaint English custom, we do it all the time," he said before reeling off a catalogue of examples. "I can't understand why the Fener fans reacted so strongly." The ambassador's reception was so bad that Souness was sacked at the end of his only season at the club.

The 2005 Awards

It seems that every newspaper is writing their best moments of the year columns to fill up space. Unfortunately, I follow almost no football outside of Ankara and so this is probably going to be a short piece.

As a friend of mine told me a few weeks ago. "You know almost nothing about football and your articles are much better when Genclerbirligi lose." I think it was a compliment.

So to the 2005 awards.

The Salvation Army Award for services to the poor:

An honourable mention to Ankaraspor who did a good job by actually giving away tickets for free for their game against Genclerbirligi. They did charge us Gencler fans 50 kurush (about 15 pence). Even so, nobody showed up and so the award has to go to Ankaragucu for their efforts a few weeks ago selling tickets for just 1 lira.

The Turkish Bureaucracy Award for massive incompetence:

Fenerbahce did well by forgetting to pay the electricity bill and thus having one of their games blacked out for 15 minutes but the award has to go to Ankaragucu for having failed to anticipate that selling tickets at 1 lira a pop on a lovely Sunday during Ramadan might mean that a few more punters than usual might show up. We didn't get in until almost half time while Ole Kanka couldn't get in at all.

The Article 301 "Should've kept your mouth shut, idiot" Award:

Being Turkey, this award had hundreds of potential winners. Close runners up include FIFA head Sepp Blatter for going way over the top and not waiting for his own organization's report in his blasting of Turkey for the fight between Turkish and Swiss players in the world Cup play-off; Turkish coach Fatih Terim for his press conferences in which amongst other things he expressed sympathy with those who threw eggs at the Swiss bus. But the winner has to be Genclerbirligi chairman Ilhan Cavcav who last week said Fenerbahce were acting like PKK separatists for their role in trying to corner all the money from TV broadcasts. Cavcav could face criminal charges over the statement and I'm certainly not going to travel to Istanbul for Fener V Gencler in about a month's time.



The Australian Cricket Team Approach to the Ashes Award for most overconfident build up to a match/competition:

Fenerbahce were definately a candidate for this award after manager Christoph Daum said at the start of the season that the Champions League was his biggest priority. Fener crashed out coming fourth in the group. The winner however has to be our own Eski Kanka Jim who didn't even bother to watch the return match of Trabzonspor against some Greek Cypriot team instead predicting Trabzon would be up against Rangers in the next round and that we should start organising how to get to Trabzon. In the end Rangers got to visit Cyprus instead.

The Enron/Conrad Black Award for creative ways to lose/waste money:

High marks to Galatasaray who are in big trouble at the moment with banks refusing to lend them any more money and the players and coach haven't been paid for months. This is all thanks to their complete stuff up of plans to turn Ali Sami Yen Stadium into some sort mall cum football pitch. Then there are all of those over-the-hill foreigners clogging up the chances of young Turks getting some football practice: namely Anelka and Aileton. But as I'm making up the awards the prize goes to Gencler whose coach at the beginning of the season decided he didn't like Josip Skoko, so the club gave him away for free to Wigan. About a week later we sacked the coach for being a total idiot. At least a million dollars down the drain on that deal.


The "God I'm sick of the English talking about 1966" Award:

A good performance by all those Poms in Ankara who still haven't stopped reminding me of the Ashes, and the dismal performances by our rugby union and rugby league teams. But the award goes to me for reminding every Turk I've met in the last few weeks that Australia is in the World Cup, and Turkey isn't. Neither is Scotland for that matter.

Happy New Year

JOCK AND GEORDIE FOOTIE

Greetings Kankas. Bad news from Jockland -

Inverness 2 Hibernian 0

Two early goals conceded was too high a mountain to climb for the Mighty Hibees. A deflected shot and a goalkeeper error was enough to deny the Hibees 3 valuable points.

I was able to watch the Super Reds (Liverpool) take the Geordies apart live on Turkish TV last night and they looked awesome at times. Should have been 6-0, but they only managed 2 thanks to the heroics of Shay Given. I heard the commentator mention Owen once, or was it twice, but if he really was playing then I now understand why Real Madrid off-loaded him ! I heard that San Marino had offered Graeme Souness the chance to play at a higher level of footie and take them to the World Cup Finals in 2010. Seems like an ideal career move, and who knows, he could end up like Sir Matt and Sir Alex as the 3rd Jock Footie Knight !!!!! I can just hear Geordie Kankie now saying........... Wheeeesht lad had thee gab...... ???!!! Well, if this arcticle doesn't provide a response then nothing will !!!

That's all from me for now. All the best from Eski Kanka Jim

THE GUARDIAN

Greetings Kankas. Further to Oz Kanka's latest report .....Hmmmmmm, well, unusually the favourite didn't win it. Fred would definitely have received my vote. Brazilian names just roll off the tongue..... Pele, Ronaldhino, Gento, Stephano, etc, but..... Fred ?......... Nah !!!

Also, an all time first for the Guardian. It is the first time that the Guardian has ever made me laugh !!! However, I'll keep reading The Scotsman, The Daily `Retard` or is it Record, and of course, The East Lothian Courier !!!

All the best from Eski Kanka.

PS..... Hibernian travel to inhospitable Inverness today. Watch this space for result.

What's in a name. Part II

Just read this in the Christmas edition of the Guardian. It appears I'm not the only one not impressed (or is that impressed) with Fred.

The Uwe Fuchs/Stefan Kuntz Memorial Award For An Amusingly Named And Really Actually Existing Sportz Dude ... would have gone to Lyon's Brazilian superstriker Fred - were it not for the existence of Real Salt Lake's defensive midfielder Seth Trembly.

The rest of the article includes some gems from the whole weird world of "sportz".

Happy Christmas

TURKISH CUP - BAD NEWS

Greetings Kankas. Bad news I'm afraid. Last night......

Fenerbahce 0 Gaziantep 2

This means that Antep are top of our group with Ankaragucu and Fener tied in 2nd place.
Mmmmmmm, not so good, but........ never say never ! It is not over till it's over !!!

Watch this space after the winter break for more exciting news about Ankara footie. In the meantime, any news from elsewhere will be welcome.

All the best from Eski Kanka Jim

ANKARAGUCU

Greetings Kankas. It is with great relief that I report today's score line......

Tarsus 3 ANKARAGUCU 4

We were down 1-2 at half time and I must confess to being a wee bit worried (no,.... make that a big bit worried !!). However, the boys `done good` and did the biz. More details later when I read God's newspaper......... The Hurriyet !!

As I write this, Antep are leading 1-0 in Istanbul which is not good. However, I'm sure the Ref will give Fener a penalty (or two !!) to ensure their victory. Sour grapes ? Surely not !!!

Watch this space. All the best from Eski Kanka