Referee 1- Gencler 0

Tonight was no fun. I have to admit to being more interested in re-runs of "Prisoner" (Cell Block H to our British readers) than the rubbish that was Besiktas versus Genclerbirlgi tonight.

All started nice and interestingly when Besiktas went close with all of 20 seconds on the clock.

Genclerbirligi could hardly get the ball but it didn't matter as Besiktas were crap as well but then in the 13th minute there was a piece of brilliance that I hoped would change the match.

Tumer, from Besiktas, sent in a hopeful cross which was beautifully headed by Mr. Lentil (who obviously forgot that he was actually on our side) to Ali Cansun who chested the ball and then hit it sort of on the volley over Omer's head and into the goal. Besiktas 1-0 but I have to admit it was a very nice goal. 1-0 down after just 13 minutes was depressing but by God more depressiveness was to come.

Two weeks ago against Fenerbahce, Gencler fought back and could arguably have been described as the better team (well, at least I argued that sought of way) but tonight Gencler were just crap. Nothing was working, everyone was slow, even the normally over-the-top commentators couldn't get going. This was the sort of football that makes international chess look interesting.

It was therefore with great glee that at about this point I responded to the door bell to find Eski and Mrs. Eski Kanka, bearing eight cans of Efes.

It was all very civilised as Eski Kanka and myself proceeded to watch the dross on the television while Mrs Eski Kanka and Mrs Oz Kanka talked to each other about knitting or whatever it is wives talk about when they are forbidden to touch the remote control... when Genclerbirligi scored!

It was a lovely-worked-out goal. A nice send in to the box by someone or other which was chested down by someone or other who sent the ball on to Mehmet Cakır who sent it into the back of the net. 1-1 and Genclerbirligi weren't looking too bad.

After that however it was more dross and to Eski Kanka's relief dinner was served, ahh, I'm getting ahead of myself. Before the soup was served some Besiktas player was adjudged to have been brought down in the box. What a load of bollocks.

Now I have a personal message for tonight's referee.

Dear Ismet Arzuman,
I hope you know English and I hope you Google your name and accidently come to this site because mate you are an A-grade goose. Eski Kanka and myself had no hassles with how you officiated the game until the point you gave the penalty. All those yellow cards (and there were quite a few) given to Genclerbirligi players were most probably warranted but are you really going to sleep soundly knowing you gave such a wrong penalty? There are only two possibilities here, either you are stupid or you or you are a good friend of Sedat Peker.
Yours,
Oz Kanka

You can all probabaly guess that Besiktas scored from the penalty and went on to win the match. I may have spoken in recent weeks about Genclerbirligi having a good chance at getting into the UEFA Cup.... I take it all back...

In the mean time the Eski Kankas and the Oz Kankas had a wonderful dinner and afterwards Eski Kanka beat me up in the darts. I hadn't been drinking enough obviously.